Plus, despite the deep significance of celebrating Talk Like a Pirate Day (TLAPD), I’d rather be celebrating Talk Like Keith Richards Day, which Johnny Depp celebrates year-round when a Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy marathon is broadcast (because in aggregate the three movies are about 365 days and 30 minutes long).

But avast! Mr. Brohaugh! Stop! Stay! You must hold fast, and beat your silly jokes to death with a cramp-iron!

Umm, a cramp-iron?

“Grappling hook,” matey. What better way to stop you than to grab you with a grappling hook?

Umm, just say “avast.”

I did, you scurvy bilge-lubber!

Our pirate-talker in the audience is helping me understand the possible origin of the word avast—a word I’d never thought about before getting in dutch with piratespeak lovers for forgetting TLAPD. In piratical penance, I visited the TLAPD website, which includes coverage of the three R’s of Pirate Prattle:

• Arrreading
• Arrriting
• Arrrithmatic

(Well, no it doesn’t. I made them up.) So, you arrreaders, where does avast come from? The answer will keep you in dutch with the piratespeakers, as the origin is, very likely, Dutch. Notes the abbreviation-heavy OED.com (hey, OED guys, on the web, you can spell some things out, you know): “[prob. a worn-down form of Du. hou'vast, houd vast, hold fast: cf. Du. hou stop! stay! and houvast cramp-iron.]”

By the way, what’s the traditional buccaneer feast for International Talk Like a Pirate Day? Stay tuned for tomorrow’s post, and I’ll give you a word-origin entree for next year’s celebration. Why next year? Well, I’ve already missed this year, obviously. Plus, this will give you the opportunity to cook the dish low and slow.