08.13.08
Your obligatory Olympics reference
I tuned out the chat-drama-chat-ohhh!-chat-chat-drama-drama-draaammmma Olympic commentary last night shortly after one of the U.S. women gymnasts flubbed a floor landing, and one commentator declared, “That is a disaster of immense proportions.” Or some such blather.
Tune-out. Not remote-control-sound-down tune-out. “Oh, just shut up,” tune-out.
The Chicago Fire was a disaster of immense proportions. Hurricane Katrina. Vesuvius. A moment of gymnastic imbalance is, well, a darn shame. But, oh well—there’s no molten lava surging across my kitchen floor.
Said commentator (I would mention him by name if he’d said anything to warrant me spending the energy looking it up) was perhaps trying to marry form and content in his commentary. China about to wrest Olympic Gold from our golden girls! Dreams about to be dashed! Oh the up-close-and-personal-agony-of-defeat-draaaammmmaaa! Had he wanted to marry form and content, he would have taken my instruction and just shut up every once in a while. The content before us was the incredible physical grace and artistry of the gymnastic routines. The form of the commentary should have aligned itself and assumed some quiet, graceful moments. But as it was, the commentator’s verbal gymnastics were themselves a disaster of immense proportions.
Brohaugh, just shut up!
And I will.
, 
and 
. Feel free to 
Jennifer said,
August 15, 2008 at 11:48 am
Sports commentators (or are they rather commenters) are truly not a source of reference for the English language. With the nauseating hyperbole and inappropriate metaphors, along with constant misuse of words (defense as a verb, ironic instead of coincidental, etc.) it’s hard to believe these people actually ever took an English course past elementary school. Well, maybe it just helps them justify their career choice as being something important to humanity…
Bill Brohaugh said,
August 16, 2008 at 7:24 am
I believe they exist to provide the playing field on which to engage in our particular sport: the word game. Every time I kick one of those commentated quotes (and extra points on “commenters,” by the by) into the net, I run around my office with my arms in the air yelling, “Goooooooooooooooooal!”