07.04.08

Mom, baseball, and a spit in your eye

Posted in language misuse, redundancy at 10:53 am by Bill Brohaugh

In the spirit of both the 4th of July and the sober debate of our current Presidential campaign, I will this Independence Day engage in a bit of the national pastime. Taking cheap potshots.

And I’ll take those potshots at participants in that other national pastime, which would be baseball.

In Write Tight, I advise writers to listen to sportscasters to study best practices in concise communication. Sportscasters provide perfect examples of what not to do. To be fair (OK, somewhat fair, as we’re frolicking in potshot land right now), studying almost any oral communication will reveal multiple laughable pitfalls. In my work, I deal regularly with raw interview transcripts, which has taught me that nearly every spoken sentence begins with the word so and contains at least one instance of actually (the “educated” version of um). That said, start ducking, sportscasters; I’m pitching a few high fast ones. Most of the examples below come from last night’s Cincinnati Reds win over (of course, it’s the Independence Day weekend) the Washington Nationals:

  • “This team has been devastated—and I mean devastated—by injuries this season.” Thanks for the clarification. The first instance of that wimpy word devastated kinda confused me.
  • “I know you’re married to your wife . . .” Pretty reliable scouting report, apparently.
  • Regarding skill improvement: “Those players must continue to move forward in a positive direction.” Oh, where do we begin? Never mind. A snark about that one has all the meaning of a batting-practice home run. Instead, let’s continue to move forward in a negative direction to the next example:
  • “If they can hang on for two more innings . . .” Whew! I’d hate to see them hang on for two fewer innings.
  • “They’re holding the runner tightly at first base.” Hey! Watch it, fella! This isn’t the “friendly confines” of Wrigley Field!
  • A few days back: “We’ll turn the calendar to the month of July beginning tomorrow.” Good thing you specified; my first thought would have been turning the calendar to the Republic of July. And when will you be ending turning the calendar to the Republic of July? Oh, the dangers of waxing pathetic.
  • While we’re at it (trying not to, as a sportscaster once said, “beat a dead horse to death”), here’s an oft-quoted classic: “He was originally born in Philadelphia.” And later born in Pittsburgh?
  • But back to last night’s game for the final at-bat, discussing a player personnel move—a triple play! “We reclaimed him [OK, solid swing] back [ouch—foul tip] again.” Redundancy three! You’re out!

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